....Thoughts....

"[She] went after her lovers; but Me she forgot," says the Lord.
~Hosea 2:13
Lately I have gotten so involved in my life down here on this earth. I constantly think about what will make me happy or fulfill me. I worry over my career choice. I worry over my relationships. It's as if I want control over my life, and sometimes it scares me to think of handing control over to God. I wonder what He will ask of me. I wonder what He has in store for me. There is a choice to be made. Devotion to Christ is not just a frame of mind or a phrase that sounds good. I have learned that it is actively handing your life over to Christ and willingly following wherever He leads. I have been struggling with this lately. Sometimes I feel like I only have one life down here on this earth, so I should do what I want to do. But then this verse comes to my mind. " If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it." Luke 9: 23-24 I realize that following Christ is a choice. I am not forced to hand over my desires to God. I can keep my life for myself and try to find fulfillment on my own. But what is the end result? Only by following Christ do we truly find satisfaction and peace. "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You." Isaiah 26:3
Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own life that I lose sight of what my purpose in this life is supposed to be. As a Christian, my main goal in this life should be to grow closer to God and to further His kingdom on this earth. Instead, I have been trying to find happines my own way. I thought I would find happiness in being a teacher or dating a certain guy. But I have been shown through God's Word that these pleasures are fleeting and only the joy that comes from God will truly remain and satisfy. "In His presence is fulness of joy, and at His right hand are pleasures forever more." Psalm 16:11 I am not saying that I no longer desire earthly relationships or pleasure, but I want my soul to find rest in God alone. If He wants to bless me with other joys...they are welcome, but I desire to be fully satisfied with Christ alone. I want my heart to echo the words of the missionary David Brainerd. " I enjoyed great sweetness in communion with my dear Savior. I think I never in my life felt such an entire weanedness from this world and so much resigned to God in everything. Oh, that I may always live to God!"